1-Sentence-Summary: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself is a book by Shad Helmstetter, a self-help guru who has written several pieces on the subject of self-talk, and who argues that in order to achieve our highest self we need to work on how we talk to ourselves and identify our biggest challenge to conquer.
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Favorite quote from the author:
Shad Helmstetter‘s book, What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, is a comprehensive guide to mastering self-talk. The author argues that we need to upgrade our self-programming system by overhauling our self-talk and replacing it with more effective and productive thoughts.
We make our own choices about what we believe and why, and then we act on those beliefs. At every level, this is what determines our success or failure—and our happiness or unhappiness. For this reason, we have to master self-talk if we want to live a happier life.
Here are three of the most important lessons from this book:
- Thoughts turn into electrical impulses, which in turn become actions.
- To create the life we want, we must take a step back and reprogram our mind.
- Understanding how self-talk works is the first step to reprogramming your mind.
In the next lines, we’ll explore these lessons in detail and teach you how to reprogram your mind to improve self-talk.
Lesson 1: Everything we are comes from our thoughts.
Your inner dialogue is private—no one else can hear it except you! So if you’re ever worried about what someone else might think of how you speak to yourself, remember that they don’t know! Just like most people don’t know what kind of inner dialogues other people are having with themselves all day long either!
So, if you want a better life then start talking more positively to yourself today! Why? Well, let’s see. The book states that thoughts turn into electrical impulses, which in turn become actions. We all have thoughts, and those become actions pretty quickly.
From how you look at the world to how you act towards others, your thoughts determine your life. When you talk to yourself, you are programming your mind with the ideas that will shape the future. The more you think about something, the more likely it is that you will act on it in the future.
When you talk to yourself about what needs to be done, what needs to be fixed or improved, what needs to be changed or avoided altogether—these are all things that will have a lasting impact on your life and the lives of those around you.
Lesson 2: Everything we want is achievable through mind reprogramming.
When you want to achieve your goals, it’s crucial to think positively and take the initiative in an actionable manner. Thoughts are the driving force behind our actions.
They can be positive or negative, and they can help us move forward or hold us back. If you have a bad habit, you probably know exactly what thought pattern keeps you stuck in that habit.
We all want to change our habits for the better, but if we don’t understand how our thoughts work and how they impact our actions, we’re not going to get very far!
That’s why it’s important to understand how your brain works: More or less, thoughts turn into electrical impulses and then into actions. To leverage the process, start reprogramming your mind to work for you, not against you.
According to the author, the process of reprogramming your mind goes like this:
- Programming creates beliefs.
- Beliefs create attitudes.
- Attitudes create feelings.
- Feelings determine actions.
- Actions create results
The single best method of applying the reprogramming framework to your mind is to literally talk yourself into it. Improve your inner talk and notice the differences in your life.
Lesson 3: Understand self-talk before you attempt to change it.
Reprogramming starts with replacing old and negative thoughts with refreshing perspectives that will serve you well in life. To replace such pessimistic thoughts, you must first identify them and then find a better option to fill your mind with.
It all begins with the five levels of self-talk that the author presents:
- Negative acceptance – This level is where many of us are trapped in. Some signs that may show you’re stuck here consist of negative talk like “I can’t do this”, “I will never get there”, and other negations.
- Recognition and need to change – Here people often use expressions such as “I need to change”, “I should do so”, “I will do something about it”, etc.
- Decision to change – This is a powerful level to find yourself into. Here you are committed to change and want to improve yourself for good.
- The better you – This level is where you feel in control of your life and you recognize that you are the agent of change. Here you’re adopting the winner mentality.
- Universal affirmation – In the last level you are universally committed to live your life meaningfully and purposefully. Here you take actionable change easier, and experience openness with the Universe.
Now, take a moment to reflect on your self-talk. Where are you on this scale? What is it that you could improve when it comes to talking to yourself? Words, even unspoken, have a tremendous effect on your actions. If you want to change your life, start by changing your words.
What to Say When You Talk to Yourself Review
What to Say When You Talk to Yourself is an amazing read for anyone who wants to start improving themselves from within.
Inner dialogue is not only important, but it also affects our lives in ways we might not even realize. The way we talk to ourselves can impact everything from how we see the world to how we make decisions and interact with others.
The author explains that we should be talking to ourselves like a friend would talk to a friend—with kindness, understanding, and encouragement.
The book was written in 1986 but it’s still relevant today, as it’s full of timeless truths about how we communicate with ourselves and how that affects our lives in both good ways and bad ways!
Who would I recommend the What to Say When You Talk to Yourself summary to?
The 35-year-old person who is struggling with anxiety and overthinking, the 28-year-old person who wants to build their self-confidence, or the 45-year-old person going through a mid-life crisis and wants to deepen their connection with themselves.