1-Sentence-Summary: How To Do The Work is a go-to guide that teaches us how to establish a mind-body-spirit connection and create better connections with the people around us by exploring how these aspects are interconnected and influenced by the way we eat, think, and feel.
Read in: 4 minutes
Favorite quote from the author:
Oftentimes we feel unwell for no apparent reason. We start feeling anxious, burnt out, and in a general state of indisposition. The simplest things can make us cry or get angry and frustrated. Moreover, the doctor’s check-up reveals nothing out of the ordinary, and over-the-counter medication does nothing to help us.
So what is it? Many people go through these symptoms throughout their lives. It doesn’t depend on our success, both in our personal or financial lives. However, it does depend on our mind-body-spirit connection. An impaired relationship between these elements can alter our life quality and create this feeling of unwellness.
LaPera herself went through this challenging state of affairs, and she reveals that although her life seemed pretty much on track, with a loving partner, no financial troubles, and a cozy home, she felt awful, both mentally and physically. Then, she tried approaching a healing method based on the connection between the body and mind.
How to Do the Work explores a holistic approach to healing by explaining how the body is interconnected with one’s mind and spirit and true relief lies within the inside of each person. By documenting her journey via Instagram, the author managed to attract over three million people to join her and learn valuable lessons.
Among them, here are my three favorite ones:
- Childhood trauma is blocking our path to healing.
- Survival systems are unhealthy and we have to let them go.
- Create boundaries to achieve healthy relationships.
Lesson 1: Identifying and healing childhood trauma play an important role in our healing process.
Childhood is the part of our lives when we form our predominant traits, beliefs, and personality. These early years can define our entire journey. What we hear, see, and learn during this time is crucial. Even though many of the things we remember are just fuzzy memories.
However, many of us go through a lot of anxiety, sadness, and even fear during our childhood. For example, if our parents fought frequently, someone in our family was chronically ill or maybe we were bullied throughout our school years, it can all come back to us long after these events have passed under the form of trauma.
This can negatively affect the quality of our life and make us lose touch with our true selves. For this reason, many of us feel numb or trapped or fail to really recognize and feel all our emotions, because we continue to use the self-defense mechanisms we used as children.
To heal from this trauma, we must go back to our primal wounds and find new ways to cope with them. We have to feel those emotions all over again and use a healthier coping mechanism, which involves honest communication and an open way of expressing those feelings in their raw form. A psychologist or a trained professional can help us heal trauma and overcome it.
Lesson 2: Disarming our survival systems is necessary for a complete healing.
When there’s an imminent threat or danger, our body immediately reacts to it by spiking up its adrenaline levels to help us boost our power levels and overcome the situation. This is also known as the flight, fight or freeze response.
As we become more and more stressed in our daily lives, cortisol builds up and we perceive threat even when it is not there, our thinking process becomes foggy, and we find it harder to establish meaningful connections. In other words, our entire system is impaired.
We react to a perceived threat using our amygdala, the fear center of the brain. However, when exposed to trauma, this function starts working improperly as we perceive threats everywhere. This means that we are in alert mode constantly, putting our body and mind at great effort.
There are certain measures that we can take to disarm these survival mechanisms which make our lives harder. For starters, you can try practicing mindful breathing. Breathing techniques have tremendous effects on us as they can relieve stress levels, improve digestion and balance our body functions.
You can try to incorporate various breathing exercises as a warm-up before your workout, through meditation or yoga, or with a trained practitioner. Moreover, you can try to add more sleep to your schedule and adopt a healthier diet. By accepting these changes, your mind-body-spirit connection will flourish!
Lesson 3: Healthy boundaries can help build better relationships with yourself and those around you.
Oftentimes we perceive boundaries as something negative and rigid, and we avoid saying no out of fear that the interlocutor will form a poor impression of us. However, knowing your limits and respectfully communicating them is a sign of emotional intelligence.
Healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. For example, you can’t let your friends come to your door uninvited all the time if this is something that upsets you. Instead, you should communicate how this makes you feel and establish a common schedule when you can meet up.
Learn how to prioritize yourself without feeling bad about it. Togetherness goes for as long as all parties feel comfortable with it. Therefore, the first boundary you should set is the physical one. Communicate your personal preferences, such as if you’re a hugger or not, for example.
Secondly, impose resource boundaries. Talk openly about your time and money availability, so as to find common ground with your friends and family. The third type of boundary you should set is the emotional one. Acknowledge your feelings, beliefs, and ideas and communicate them clearly, without feeling bad if they don’t coincide with those of the people around you.
How To Do The Work Review
LaPera takes the readers on a healing journey that starts from within. How to Do the Work builds on the idea of a human being as a whole and teaches its readers how to take care of each element that makes up their persona. Dealing with childhood trauma, adopting a healthier routine, and accepting one’s authentic self at all stages of their life are just some of the concepts presented in this book that will change your view on self-healing.
Who would I recommend the How To Do The Work summary to?
The person who wants to embrace change and improve their spirituality, the 45-year-old who feels as if they are going through a midlife crisis, or anyone who’s feeling burnt out and is looking for healing.