1-Sentence-Summary: Love Worth Making delves into the subject of sexuality and explores ways to create meaningful and exciting sexual experiences in a long-lasting relationship, based on his experience of over thirty years working with couples, all by focusing on the sexual feelings instead of the techniques.
Read in: 4 minutes
Favorite quote from the author:
Throughout time, technological advancements have taken over all areas of our life, including our sexual relationships. There’s a multitude of sex toys at our disposal and porn is just two clicks away. And the development of dating apps can help anyone find a sexual partner within minutes. The challenge now lies in finding intimacy and keeping the flame alive in a long-lasting relationship with your significant other.
Many people find it difficult to talk about this aspect of their life. They think of sex as a taboo topic, although it’s a natural part of our evolution. Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder approaches this subject directly and teaches you how to form meaningful relationships as well as maintain your current one, especially when it comes to the sexual aspect of it.
Taking care of your partner in bed is especially important. It can decide the compatibility between the two of you and the future of your relationship. Therefore, learning to nourish the other person and offer them great sexual experiences is an aspect worth considering and improving constantly. The book offers help in this regard through multiple valuable lessons.
Among them, here are my three most favorite ones:
- Embrace your sexual self with openness and a non-judgmental mind.
- Females have one thing in common: they need to be pursued.
- A relationship implies making the other feel welcomed and fixing problems together.
Lesson 1: Being open about what causes you pleasure can lead to a better sexual experience.
If sex itself is a taboo subject, what makes us enjoy it is a subject never spoken of nor mentioned to our partner. Oftentimes we feel shame or guilt for having certain things cause us pleasure, such as fetishes, fantasies, or particular items. However, being open about what you feel is the key to a happy sexual relationship.
Inhibiting your stimulants can cause you to lose enjoyment and arousal. Oftentimes, this happens in couples when one person can’t share openly what it is that creates satisfaction for them. This is because they are embarrassed or afraid of being misunderstood. As such, it’s particularly important to first be honest with yourself. Establish your preferences and your boundaries first before you communicate them to your partner.
You are responsible for your arousal, not your partner or anybody else. Acknowledging this is a powerful step towards great sex. Why? As it removes some of the psychological barriers that may stand in the way. Arousal starts from the mind and your perception of the external stimulus. Therefore, learning to live in the moment and find pleasure in our partners is our responsibility, and not theirs.
Be captivated, absorbed, and clear your mind of all outside thoughts during intercourse. Do not let your mind overtake the situation, and be more relaxed instead. This will help you get lost in the moment and focus on your pleasure. And it will, in turn, create a beautiful atmosphere and a great sexual experience for both of you.
Lesson 2: A woman wants to feel desired and pursued at all times.
To keep a healthy and sexually active relationship, there are certain things to consider. Of course, every couple is different, having their own type of connection and chemistry, but there are a few universal truths, especially when it comes to women. One of them is that they like to feel pursued and desired. After all, who wouldn’t want that?
There is a strong connection between chasing a woman and pursuing her to be with you and her level of arousal. As you make your intentions clearer and put in more time and effort to persuade her, she’ll feel desired and noticed, which will in turn make her eventually acknowledge and act on your intentions.
However, in a committed relationship, it’s challenging to keep playing these cat and mouse games and thus, keep the flame alive.
Sometimes a man gives up on pursuing his woman, as he feels like she is already available to him at all times. In such situations, a woman can try to restrict her man’s access to her a few times, just enough to spark his interest again.
Frustration isn’t generally a good thing, but in these situations, it can help spark a flame again. Flirting is another way to maintain a relationship healthy. Simmering can get two people excited although there is no practical possibility of having sex at the time. Therefore, they’ll both have to hold their desires in and wait for the occasion, which will increase lust and desire within the couple.
Lesson 3: Find a common ground when problems occur and give each other the necessary attention.
In a relationship, oftentimes day-to-day problems translate to issues in bed. If one of you feels frustration, stress, or anxiety, the chances of you having sex diminish substantially. Eventually, the lack of sex leads to more problems and a cold feeling between the two of you. What’s worse is that the cause and the effect of these problems are not always clear.
For example, if a man is always criticized for the little things, he’ll stop feeling welcomed and confident about himself. Then, he won’t chase his woman anymore, for fear of being criticized again. This will surely make the female think that her partner lost interest and desire in her, building frustration and leaving more room for criticism. What a complicated situation, right?
To avoid ending up in a twisted, stressful circumstance like this one, always work on reassuring your partner that they are still desirable and attractive in your eyes. Moreover, if there’s something bothering you in your daily life with your significant other, address it and fix it immediately, before it becomes a burden that stands in the way of your sexual life.
Lastly, learn to find a common ground. When you address your side, listen to the other person, as they might have something bothering them as well that they’ve been holding on to for quite some time. Then, mark all your problems as solved together and move on peacefully. Commit to improving what went wrong and keep on making the other feel beautiful and welcomed in your arms. Great love leads to great times in bed.
Love Worth Making Review
Love Worth Making explores effective ways to keep a relationship sexually active and what are the root causes of a failing connection in bed. Reading this book will reveal remarkable insights when it comes to the behavior of men, women, and the interactions between them. Learn about the universal truths of persuasion, desire, lust, and sexual appeal, all through this book!
Who would I recommend the Love Worth Making summary to?
The 35-year-old woman who feels as if her marriage is getting cold and wants to find ways to reconnect with her husband, the 45-year-old couple therapist who is looking to expand their knowledge and read books from their area of interest, or the 30-year-old man who wants to read more about keeping his relationship healthy and sexually active.