1-Sentence-Summary: Atlas of the Heart maps out a series of human emotions and their meaning and explores the psychology behind a human’s feelings and how they make up our lives and change our behaviors, and how to build meaningful connections by learning how to deal with them.
Read in: 4 minutes
Favorite quote from the author:
Throughout our lifetime, we’ll experience a series of emotions and events that will shape our persona and define who we end up with. Depending on our reaction to specific situations, the lessons we learn from them, and how we deal with our emotions. We can either build or damage our emotional intelligence.
By learning more about our feelings and what they mean, we get more knowledgeable about our emotional intelligence. This can help us grow and become wiser individuals. However, inhibiting them and failing to address them at the right time can cause a build-up in frustration, stress, and negative feelings overall. It’ll impair our mind, body and spirit, all while affecting our relationships as well.
For this reason, Atlas of the Heart serves as a manual for our emotional integrity. The book presents the critical traits of a dynamic balance, the harmful habits we should all ditch, and how to form meaningful connections and grow self-awareness in a few simple steps.
Here are my three favorite lessons from the book:
- Some of the most common toxic traits of all humans are comparison, internalizing anger and disappointment.
- To let go of negative emotions, you have to become vulnerable and allow meaningful connections to form.
- Knowing our emotions makes it easier to turn them into strengths and do away with our weaknesses.
Starting from these lessons, we’ll explore in detail some exciting insights from the book that will change the way you view your emotions.
Lesson 1: Comparing ourselves with others and not dealing with our anger and disappointment is what’s hurting us the most
In her book, Brown identifies 87 human emotions that she explains in detail and uses to describe real-life situations that we all go through. Among the most common yet hurtful emotions are anger and disappointment. We all experience these feelings at some point in our life. It’s up to us to decide how we want to respond to them.
Anger is an emotion we feel when something gets in the way of our desired outcome. When we’re angry, we tend to blame everyone around us and feel wronged. However, this negative emotion holds us back from achieving inner peace, as it has the power to steal our happiness and harm our relationships. Unless we learn how to transform it into joy, compassion, love, or other positive emotions. It’ll surely haunt us and break our souls.
Disappointment occurs when we can’t meet our expectations. Setting the bar high can take us places, but sometimes it can also hold us down. When unmet goals turn into shame and anger, you know something is wrong with your emotion palette. Since you choose to prioritize the bad over the good.
Lastly, when we compare ourselves with others, we’re hurting ourselves the most. Why? Because we’re setting the highest and most unrealistic expectation of all: to become someone else. Instead of engaging in an impossible feat and creating a negative ranking system, it’s best to focus on your individual growth and see how far you’ve come, as well as what’s left to fix within yourself.
Lesson 2: Alleviating these negative emotions implies being vulnerable and bonding with others
Vulnerability is often associated with being weak and emotionally exposed, but it has to do more with courage and self-awareness. Being vulnerable allows you to open up, share experiences, heal, and ultimately love someone. However, figuring out who to be vulnerable with is the real challenge, but once you find a person that earned the right to hear about your life, being vulnerable with them suddenly becomes a strength.
More than that, this emotion can help us heal anger, disappointment and let go of our toxic traits. Another person can offer us a different, more positive perspective on our situations. When we allow someone else in our lives and creates bonds, our hearts open up to the good, making it harder for negative emotions to take over us.
Vulnerability also opens the door for compassion, which is an emotion that helps us create even stronger bonds. It allows us to be of service to those in need and spread kindness. The lesson here is that negative emotions give birth to more negativity and a set of toxic traits. However, if we make room in our hearts for positive feelings will heal the damage that’s done and generate more positivity and keep our souls at peace.
Lesson 3: Differentiating emotions properly can help us sort out the good from the bad
Knowing your emotions and actively identifying them can help you sort them out. If something is good for you and takes part in your growth, turn it into a strength. If something holds you back from becoming your best self, get rid of it. To understand this concept better, let’s explore a series of emotions that people find difficult to get in touch with and often confuse.
Let’s take humility, pride, and modesty. Humility is a good emotion, as it allows you to self-assess your strengths, contributions, and imperfections, while also leaving room for learning new things. But, contrary to popular belief, humility doesn’t imply letting people walk all over you or downplaying yourself. That’s modesty combined with low self-esteem.
Moreover, humility isn’t pride. Pride makes us focus only on the good side of things and our side of contributions, which can be good sometimes, in a small but healthy doze. However, being humble makes you understand both your role and the others in a situation. In the end, it will make you more willing to accept new information that doesn’t fit with your way of thinking.
Understanding the difference between your emotions and knowing where to draw the line can prove to be a great skill in the long run. As always, keep your mind open to the new and grow your emotional intelligence. Acknowledge and feel your emotions while constantly filtering them out and observing what’s good for you in your life.
Atlas of the Heart Review
Atlas of the Heart will have you delve deep into your soul and understand your emotions and how they affect your behavior and, implicitly, your life. This book provides a series of definitions for feelings and examples of situations that influence your decisions. Making it easier for the reader to relate and see where they need to improve their approach. In addition, reading this book will reveal some surprising facts about the most common feelings that we humans encounter and how to turn them into our strengths.
Who would I recommend the Atlas of the Heart summary to?
To the 35-year-old person who’s going through a significant life event tries to make sense of their feelings. To the 25-year-old passionate about human psychology and behaviors. Lastly, for the 50-year-old person who wants to improve their spirituality and emotional intelligence.